YAY! I found my journal! LOL now onto my next piece...
The road I'm traveling on is going to come with lots of hardships. I'm not sure if i can do it. Can I really be a nurse? Can i be that strong? I'm not sure. I was tested last night (1-31-11). It's taken a real tole on me.
The og had no chance but I still feel like I should've, could've, needed to do something more. Sure he didn't have to die a bitter death 'til the end, but if he couldve lived...
His breath was shallow. As my mom and I petted him, he flicked his tongue to the best of his abilities. His fur was wet from the blood that was pouring from his stomach because of that other dog! >.< I'll never forget his stiffness, how his eyes looked just as if he didn't know what was going on, but i knew he was feelking pain. Blank. He died knowing he was loved. But I still don't know.
\I think God was testing me, to see if i could deal with the stresses of nursing life. I know, I'll have to think about how I made people live or die better, not that i couldve done something more. I just realized through that little dog that the health porfession is really where i'm supposed to be.
NOTE: I still cry by myself when i thin of this dog. Each day i try to just think more and more positive but it is still very hard. NO one can imagine the hardness of that except my mom, because she was there. Through this event i questioned a lot... and it's very hard to deal with this. But I'm doing okay! :)
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