Dancing in the Rain -- So cliche CONTINUED da da da dummmmm

Dancing to "Purple Rain" by Prince. He held me tight.Hands on my hips lightly. Swaying. Side to side. I looked into his eyes, twinkling. I was the only one he cared for in this moment. We shared a silent conversation and smiled when I looked away.
The rain was coming down hard and the thunder only brought us closer.My dress was ruined, but i didn't care. His tuxedo was soaked as well, but his smile never faded.
He whispered, even though we were the only ones arounnd, "You look gorgeous." I laughed loud becuase i knew i had make up running. There was no way I looked gorgeous. This moment was perfect! <3

All of a sudden a lightning bolt came down a struck my date. I jumped back so fast i fell and ripped my dress to the crotch. "oh nooooo!!" i shouted.

I looked at him and seen his charred tux and flaming hair. "Oh baby you are flaming hot!" I chuckled.

"oh shut up and get me a fire exstinguisher because you're so hot, together we might burn this place down." 

I laughed until my sides hurt and then dowsed him down with water. Tonight was an unforgettable night,

Finally

At last
we're finally here.
Graduation.
Last year it
didn't seem so near.

We've come so far

and now we can go
even further.
I knew it would
go by fast.
But I never dreamed
how bitter-sweet these last
few memories would be.
We finally have
to leave, depart,
our seperate ways, worlds apart.
The memories will be
with me
wherever I go.
On of my fears
is that I may forget
what I used to hold so dear.
Finally
the ending to the begining.
Graduation:
a time for tears
a time for squeals.
The greatest moment
of our life
so far.
Finally
this moment has come
Dum da da da
dum dum
Dum da da da
dum dum
Rings in my ears.
The rush of fears
makes my heart pitter.
But finally
we are here.

The Way of the World

Pie
Hi
Guy
Die
Tie
Bye
Aye
Eye
My
Try
sigh
zy(gote)
FYI
Fly
I
Ni(agra)
Qui(et)
Sky
Rye
Vi(agra)
Why
Butterfly
Tri(angle)
High
Li(ght)
PIG
dig
jig

Something New - My thoughts

Well I'm not sure what to write because i don't have any ideas in my head right now so I'll just write whats in my head.
Do you ever wish you were the white crayon in the box? Never? I do that way no one would ever use me. Seems to be a pattern developing. The using you theory. I'm not sure what is true and what's false anymore. I don't know who really means what they say or who is just using me to satisfy themselves. (No not in any ;) way).
Sometimes giving up doesn't mean youre weak it just means youre strong enough to let go. This quote's pretty true. You can't always hang on. It ends up hurting you the most if you can never get over something. Drug addictions are a good representation of this idea. If you let go it means youre stronger than what it takes to keep abusing that substance.

... To be continued with more quotes

Dancing in the Rain -- So cliche

Dancing to "Purple Rain" by Prince. He held me tight.Hands on my hips lightly. Swaying. Side to side. I looked into his eyes, twinkling. I was the only one he cared for in this moment. We shared a silent conversation andsmiled when I looked away.
The rain was coming down hard and the thunder only brought us closer.My dress was ruined, but i didn't care. His tuxedo was soaked as well, but his smile never faded.
He whispered, even though we were the only ones arounnd, "You look gorgeous." I laughed loud becuase i knew i had make up running.

My Team! Happy Valentines Day!

Well I thought today would be pretty crappy.No valentine. No kind of valentine. Selling valentine candy to people who have poeple to hope to love.
But then I got here, and there was a gift on my desk! Turns out Zach Powell is on My Team for V-day! He got me a little dolphin figurine and FunDip! It was the sweetest thing ever! Especiallly bc I didn't think he would do it seriously! It even had a rose on it!
And, even though i got yelled at this morning,my mom had some little gifts for me: candy a card 2 pairs of socks <3 and slippers! My dad also gave me a card but IDK where i put it! Theyre so on my team!
We're also having a valentines extravaganze in 1st period! How awes?! Right!? IT's as if MRs. Onkst is Team Holly too! It's crazy how I can write so much about one fraze on a candy heart just one day!

PS  I also got a note that was really sweet from a friend! It was the highlight of my day!

Katarina Van Vulkenburg's interior thoughts

At the Doctor's Office:
Ready to go to another patient.I wonder what this one is.
Oh a birth! haha taht's gonna be an explosion of fun! haha get it? Explosion. I'm so funny.
I get to work with doctor Hoojaflagansbottom today.Gosh he's a hunk.  Ihope he thinks i'm attractive.
Okay in the room now. Mother looks good. Okay I'll call Sam in.
Woo! He's here.Man he look hunky in those scrubs.I wonder if I look skinny enough.
Gosh look at him taking control of this situation. Man,what a turn on!
Oh dang! Baby coming out! Maybe i should help this baby instead of thinking out my hunky doctor.
Man this process is something else I'm so glad --- EW!!--- I don't have to go thorugh this. Grapefruit out a straw.Dang.
Okay lets clamp the cord. Stumulate the baby. Aww waht a beautiful baby boy. He's looking good. 8 pounds 9 ounces.Wow he's a heavy thing.
Eep! Doctor Sam just touched my hand when I handed him the babuy. I bet he planned taht. I hope he ilked that wink i just gave him. Okay well if he didn't, whatever right? I just hope he doesn't want to go to dinner! Yuck!
Alright, time to take care of mom and baby. This was a nice little time. Thank God i'm a nurse.

Wasp Nest

High school is just a big wasp nest. All the cliques are the little wasp nests in the bi wasp nest. All the popular people stinging agnrily at the other wasps.
Then you have the actual people in the nests. They travel from one circle to the other. Building up immunity to the poisons.
Then there are the persons taht didn't fit anywhere, so they just have to float in the midst of all these angry stingers.
HIgh school is just, really, a big preparer for the world, where everyone is a wasp.
The thing that is the worst about the high school wasps nest? Well that's called natural selection: where if anything is wrong with a wasp then they have to be secluded. Everyone using retarded as a slur for stupid. That's so stupid that they would use taht. IT's like saying "thats so um like cheerleader who like can't like say smart stuff."
The world is cruel and that's why the wasp is the perfect analogy about the human condition. Wasps are concerned only for themselves. Just like people.

Moving forward (reality)

Reality is finally
setting in.
I know that in
less than 4 months
I will be a high school
graduate.
No more easy roads.
College starts in
August.
Then I'm on my
own.
Not knowing
anyone.
Everyone
going in different directions.
Possibly never seeing
the people I've grown to
love and learned to
let loose with.
Reality is I have to
move on,
have my own dreams,
follow them.
Reality is I'm not
rather I can't be
that little girl
I alway have been.
Nothing stays
the same.
Even my childhood home
is going up
for sale.
Everyone
moving on,
moving forward.
Feels like I'm the
only one
resisting change.
The only one getting
left behind.
If change is good
why does it hurt
so bad. Why does reality
make me wanna cry.
Whatever happened
to fairy tales.
Guess life can't
alway be happily
ever after.
Reality has to set in
and you have to
Realize that
things aren't
can never be
perfect.
There are so many
opportunities
with the new life.
But what about the
opportunities we have
here?
Reality
harsh
curel
painful
cuts like a razor
on skin.

Christmas Morning (a story of happiness)

Christmas Day when Katarina was 5 years old. Not her earliest memory, but one of her strongest.
She woke up at 6:00 AM that Wednesday. It was before she had school, so she wasn't on break. So she had no care in the world, except "What'd Santa bring ,e!?"
She rushed down the winding staircase of her parent's mansion, halfway tumbling down them instead of running. ONce she got to the bottom, she looked up to see her parents sitting on the couch waiting for her.
She smiled. Then she looked over to where the Christmas tree stodd. The lights were shining, marching band playing music on the limbs, the garland hung so perfectly. She was taken back by just the beauty of the tree. But, then, she saw her presents!
There were fat ones, big ones, skinny ones, little ones, shiny ones,  patterned ones. All shapes, colors, sizes, and with an assortment of bows on the top. The room was almost taken over with her presents.
She opened every one, slowly and carefully, until they were all opened. She had gotten everything she aske dfor and more. But, when she began to play withthem her mother said, "Katie. There's one more. From mommy and daddy."
It was the smallest package yet and she couldnt imagine what it was. She opened that one just as carefully as her others. And when she opened the box, there was a shiny silver band tat said "I love you" on it. Her first ring.
The rest of the day was a blur. Just eating, playing and watching movies. But she never forgot the ring she got last, or any of the presents for that matter.
She kept the ring until her current day. Having it resized every year. Her pirzed possession. Her prized memory.

Picture based Vinette

Her eating disorder had taken over her life. She felt so isolated from everyone, behind a curtain of the real her.
Her life had faded from a bright yellow to a blue then finally to a purple. Each color signifying a different stage in her life. She wore braceletes to represent the colors she felt represented her life.
Yellow for the times that she had been happy, up until the accident. Though, she had been bulemic once before, she had gotten over it pretty quickly. She had lived a rich childhood. She had gotten anything she wanted, went anywhere and everywhere. Spoiled described her. Precisely why she engraved it insignificantly in her arm.
The blue "airforce" bracelet reminds her of her deceased boyfriend, Adam. The blye also represents the sadness she felt, the emenseness of the sadness like the blue ocean.
Finally the purple on that represented the even darker time she was facing now. She felt as if she were fake, saving the lives of other people, yet killing herself. Even though she could realize that this process had to stop, she couldnt. It was all she could control herself.
SHe never took the bracelets off. Partially because they were representative and a conversation starter when she was in a new place or with a new patient. Partially because they hid the scars of the words and gashes engraved in her wrists.
She would be okay, though. She would. She had to be.

Favorite !!

Kate was great at her job. She could save those lives like, that! She cared for her peeps so in depth. But she could not care for her own self. When she would eat, she would look at her bod and think "YOU FAT COW!!!"
One day she ate a six course meal. Then she thought 'bout what she had just done. With a gross feel in her, she went to the wash troom. She sat on the floor and stuck her hand to the back of her throat to make her gag. It worked. All the meal came out in a continuous splash.
Now, she felt better.

LEAST Favorite!

She layed her lips on his. The kiss felt wrong. Their lips were pressed for a long time, too long. She turned and went home. Her mind thought what she had done was bad, but she did not know why. She had been drunk...No that is not it. She picked up her phone and dialed her mom. She told her what she had done and who with. there was shock in her mom's voice when she said "That's your cousing, Kate." Kate cried. She will not be drunk next time. She felt bad for her ways. But she learned what no to do!

WARNING: SAD!

YAY! I found my journal! LOL now onto my next piece...

The road I'm traveling on is going to come with lots of hardships. I'm not sure if i can do it. Can I really be a nurse? Can i be that strong? I'm not sure. I was tested last night (1-31-11). It's taken a real tole on me.
The og had no chance but I still feel like I should've, could've, needed to do something more. Sure he didn't have to die a bitter death 'til the end, but if he couldve lived...
His breath was shallow. As my mom and I petted him, he flicked his tongue to the best of his abilities. His fur was wet from the blood that was pouring from his stomach because of that other dog! >.< I'll never forget his stiffness, how his eyes looked just as if he didn't know what was going on, but i knew he was feelking pain. Blank. He died knowing he was loved. But I still don't know.
\I think God was testing me, to see if i could deal with the stresses of nursing life. I know, I'll have to think about how I made people live or die better, not that i couldve done something more. I just realized through that little dog that the health porfession is really where i'm supposed to be.

NOTE: I still cry by myself when i thin of this dog. Each day i try to just think more and more positive but it is still very hard. NO one can imagine the hardness of that except my mom, because she was there. Through this event i questioned a lot... and it's very hard to deal with this. But I'm doing okay! :)

A natural...

Natural...
Well I can't really say anything about natural. All I know is I'm really sad because I forgot my lunch in the rush to get gas for both my mom and me this morning, while it was $2.76...
I always leave my Jeep parked at my job, so i don't waste gas...So all my stuff was in her Car...Well my pompoms and my lunch are both in her car...So now I don't know what I'm going to do...
I could ask Mrs. Webb to go to all lunches or stay in the library or something...But i don't know...I'm the good kid...I could go have lunch with my madre though..hmm...Nah!
What are I going to do?
I'll figure it out during first lunch! :)
Man, I really am diggin Mrs. Onksts taste in music. This song is one i wish i could have on my ipod.
HA! Today is also schoool spirit day...
I totally have the most spirit. But I never get recognized for efforts...never even a picture taken...I mean i even dye my hair and wear wigs to go all out. But the more popular people get recognized.
Oh and I thin kI also dont know where my first writing journal is...
But I'm sure I'll find it.
Gosh I'm hungry...\I wonder what they're serving for lunch today...Maybe I'll go through the line...or get lunch at JCTC. I have conditioning today so i def. have to eat!